Chapter 1: The Journey of Healing

It has been nearly two months since my last post, and I feel the urge to share something before tomorrow arrives. Next week marks the anticipated conclusion of my ongoing divorce with the final Status Conference on the horizon.

After two long years, I sense that I am on the mend, and that brings a sense of hope. In a moment of honesty, I want to reveal that just last week, I viewed a video titled “9 Warning Signs of Severe Depression” and found myself relating to almost every point. Writing this listicle about the positives of shared custody has proven to be one of the most challenging tasks I’ve faced during this divorce process. However, I am determined to create this list—for my children. A healthier, more centered version of myself leads to a happier, more fulfilled mom.

Here's what I truly desire:

• More uninterrupted time to indulge in activities I cherish: writing, exercising, and playing my guitar.
• The chance to tackle my laundry pile.
• Reduced anxiety about my weekly schedule since I’ll only handle half of the school runs.
• Increased moments of solitude for self-reflection and healing.
• Grocery shopping trips (hello, Costco!) without the kids in tow.
• Greater access to therapy sessions focused on my emotional well-being.
• Time dedicated to self-care and contemplating my life's direction.
• Opportunities to socialize with friends.
• A commitment to stop shouldering the emotional burdens of others (aside from my kids).
• Weekend getaways for Spartan Races (working on my fitness!).
• The freedom to call it a night early without worrying about anyone else.
• Engaging in my studies while striving for a 4.0 GPA (it took a high-conflict divorce to motivate me academically, but I’m embracing it).
• Witnessing the growth and beauty of my children after spending a week apart.
• More time for self-prioritization, to catch my breath, and to identify my needs.
• A heart overflowing with love and attention for my kids upon their return.

Originally, this article was titled “50 Positive Things About 50/50 Custody.” It took me an entire weekend to compile just fifteen points. However, crafting this list has significantly uplifted my spirits and helped me take slow, purposeful steps toward the future. My wish for anyone navigating the tough path of divorce is that this list offers a glimmer of hope, illuminating the way out of the darkness.

Divorce is undeniably tough; the reality of not having my kids with me half the time is equally challenging. This is my life now—two years in, I am learning to accept it for what it is rather than what it was.

I am ready to embrace closure, whatever form it may take.

Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts!

©2022 Divina Grey. All rights reserved.

Chapter 2: Embracing Change

Section 2.1: A New Perspective on Custody

The transition to a 50/50 custody arrangement can be daunting, but it also opens up new possibilities for personal growth and family dynamics.

Subsection 2.1.1: Finding Balance and Joy