# The Ineffectiveness of Avoidance: Embracing Discomfort for Growth
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Chapter 1: Understanding Avoidance
Our minds are incredibly skilled at steering clear of discomfort, yet confronting it often turns out to be less daunting than anticipated. We have a tendency to function more like "avoiding machines" rather than "thinking machines." Surprisingly, we frequently remain oblivious to the fact that we are dodging certain thoughts.
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Section 1.1: Common Examples of Avoidance
Consider this: while you’re engaged with this text, you might be sidestepping a challenging thought. We often find ourselves scrolling through messages or checking the news to escape tasks we find unappealing. When faced with life’s hurdles, it’s common to distract ourselves or resort to numbing methods such as alcohol. Important matters like bills, taxes, and clutter are often postponed simply because we dread confronting them. Even exercise can be neglected due to the discomfort it brings.
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Section 1.2: The Unnoticed Nature of Avoidance
There are numerous forms of avoidance that we may not even recognize. Take a moment to reflect: what challenge are you currently sidestepping? You might uncover an uncomfortable thought, or your mind may quickly divert to a different subject. This exercise forms part of the Face Everything Technique, which I will outline after discussing the futility of avoidance.
Chapter 2: Why Avoidance is Counterproductive
Our instinct is to flee from discomfort and pain, seeking temporary relief. However, this coping mechanism results in a perpetual cycle of evasion, leaving us preoccupied but not resolving our problems. We become like children distracted by bright objects, neglecting vital tasks, healthy habits, finances, and relationships. Eventually, we must confront these challenges, often finding them even more daunting than if we had tackled them early on.
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The Face Everything Technique
This technique encourages mindfulness and direct engagement with our issues, demonstrating that they are often not as formidable as we perceive. Here’s how it works:
- Create Awareness: Ask yourself, “What am I doing right now?” Use reminders or notes to check in with yourself. Your answer might be as straightforward as “Scrolling through social media” or “Eating snacks.” This realization is the crucial first step.
- Identify What You’re Avoiding: Pinpoint the fear, task, emotion, or discomfort you’re dodging. Name it clearly.
- Confront It: Remain present with the discomfort. Focus on the physical sensations rather than the narrative playing in your mind. You may discover that it's not as bad as you imagined. Challenge yourself to stay with this feeling for longer.
- Take Appropriate Action: Once you’ve faced the discomfort, proceed to act responsibly. If you've confronted a fear and see it's not a big deal, remind yourself of the benefits of the task at hand. If you're avoiding a tough conversation, acknowledge your feelings and communicate calmly and empathetically.
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Although not every issue will disappear using this method, you will become more adept at managing challenges as you practice. This will help you become more comfortable with discomfort, reduce procrastination, and stay focused. Remember, this transformation won’t happen instantly, but with consistent effort.
Resist the temptation to dismiss this technique. Recognize that avoidance is still a form of evasion, so it's time to confront it now.
The first video, "Anxiety & Avoidance: Why Coping by Avoiding Doesn't Work [Diary from a Therapist]," delves into the pitfalls of avoidance and offers insights into why this coping strategy falls short.
The second video, "How To Stop Avoiding Your Problems," provides practical guidance on overcoming the urge to evade difficult situations and encourages proactive problem-solving.