Navigating the Struggles of Novel Completion and Self-Doubt
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Chapter 1: Reflections on the Final Draft
Two years ago, I penned a self-critical piece expressing my disdain for the initial version of my latest novel in The Last Word series. After extensive editing and revisions, I now have a bound proof copy that merely awaits a final proofread from someone unacquainted with it since the early pandemic days. Throughout this journey filled with starts and stops, I find myself holding a tangible proof of my work.
You might expect a sense of relief, but instead, I feel a lingering resentment toward the manuscript—my feelings have only marginally improved since that earlier rant. I often fantasize about setting it ablaze, imagining the flames consuming the pages as a form of atonement for the countless trees sacrificed for its creation. Living in East Texas, where burning materials on your property is not just allowed but encouraged, adds an ironic twist to my frustration.
Despite my inclination to incinerate it, I adhere to a personal guideline: I must publish anything that exceeds 700 words. While novels differ from articles, my 72,816-word manuscript far surpasses that threshold. I’ve managed to trim 3,325 words, which represents only half of the 10% reduction that Stephen King advises in his writing guide, On Writing.
Section 1.1: The Burden of Self-Doubt
I struggle to pinpoint the source of my distaste for this work. Oddly enough, I have completed three other rough drafts to evade confronting this project. A nagging concern lingers that my characters may have outstayed their welcome, suggesting that perhaps the series was meant to conclude as a trilogy. Nevertheless, they persist in my thoughts, and the only way to silence them is to write their story. In light of my mother’s recent passing, I’ve been contemplating my literary legacy; if I am remembered at all, it will likely be as a writer who "was no P. G. Wodehouse" rather than "was no Hemingway."
I hold no ill will toward Wodehouse; I admire his Jeeves stories, and his legacy endures nearly 50 years posthumously. But unlike my reverence for Hemingway, I don’t idolize Wodehouse's typewriter.
Subsection 1.1.1: Coping with Post-Novel Depression
Perhaps my feelings stem from a common post-novel depression, or from second-guessing my editorial choices. The fear that accompanies releasing a novel into the world also weighs heavily on me.
As I navigate this uncertainty, I occasionally entertain the notion that I should have abandoned this project for a different story—one where Billy Graham becomes Black Sabbath's lead singer, and Ozzy preaches (albeit incomprehensibly) to millions. Yet, I am compelled to follow through with this decision, not only due to word count but also because I’ve sent one of the proof copies to my most devoted reader, who has a history of holding me accountable.
Section 1.2: The Inevitable Push to Publish
In full honesty, I initially wrote this reflection to clear my mind for a new article about Springsteen; like Joan Didion, I often discover my thoughts through writing. Ironically, this piece has exceeded my 700-word limit, which means it must be shared. Why did I have to choose a rule I’m determined to uphold?
Despite my reservations, when The Bookstore War is released this spring, don’t say you weren’t cautioned. Meanwhile, I’ll keep reminding myself of Somerset Maugham’s memorable line from The Razor’s Edge: "Well, you know when people are no good at anything else they become writers."
Have a great day, and may the spirits of Hemingway and Wodehouse guide you.
If you're interested in the three novels in The Last Word series that I actually appreciate, you can find them here.
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