Chapter 1: The Challenge of Letting Go

Navigating life while entrenched in the chaos of alcoholism felt like wandering through a perplexing maze filled with contradictions and challenges. I was overwhelmed by my inability to control my drinking, and my existence had become utterly unmanageable. The only thing I yearned for was an escape—from the turmoil, the suffering, and the anxiety. At one point, I even contemplated ending my life. Each attempt to resolve my issues with a frazzled mind only led to more complications.

It was then that I encountered the remarkable program of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). I met individuals who, at one time, were in similar predicaments as mine—some faced greater struggles, while others had fewer. Yet, they radiated happiness, joy, and freedom that seemed unattainable to me. Some of these individuals were familiar faces from my past as a police officer in Detroit, where I had once arrested them. To my surprise, several of them insisted I “sit down, shut up, and listen” to what they had to say.

For reasons I couldn't grasp at the moment, I complied. About six of them declared their intention to be my sponsors, informing me that this was not up for discussion. These rough-around-the-edges folks played a pivotal role in saving my life. They were straightforward and honest, and I appreciated their lack of sugarcoating. They guided me through the early challenges of sobriety and introduced me to the 12 Steps of recovery, always remaining by my side.

Did I always concur with their insights? Not necessarily, but they demonstrated how the program functioned and how it had transformed their lives into something fulfilling. I clung to the program as desperately as a drowning person would grasp a life preserver. This life preserver was the AA Program, its 12 Steps, and the support of my sponsors.

When I found myself slipping back into old patterns or feelings, they urged me to assess where I was misapplying the program. As I revisited the 12 Steps, I realized I often stalled at Step 3. During times of turmoil, I recognized that I was attempting to reclaim my will and life, even if it was just a tiny fragment. I had entrusted everything to my Higher Power, whom I now refer to as God, only to snatch it back.

Thoughts like, “I’m away from home; who would know if I had just one drink in the hotel bar?” or “It’s just one little thing,” would creep in. But deep down, I knew who would know—the guilt and remorse would soon return, stronger than ever.

Thus, the answer to the question posed in the title lies in effectively engaging with the 3rd Step. To do this, we must first have worked through and embraced the 2nd Step, which clearly identifies who we are surrendering our lives to—our God.

If we genuinely believe in a Higher Power that is willing and ready to assist us, provided we ask, we can then relinquish control and move forward in our lives. It’s a simple concept, yet for many of us who have never surrendered power to anyone or anything, it’s far from easy.

So, the next crucial step is self-reflection. Have you had enough? Are you tired of feeling sick and tired? If you resonate with this sentiment, then come join us! We, who have walked this path and even have the t-shirt, have found happiness, joy, and freedom. We are eager to help you achieve the same—or even better!

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