Chapter 1: The Beanpole Years

Why does life seem so unjust? I always dreamed of having a physique like Arnold Schwarzenegger’s.

As a kid, I often heard the taunts of my peers. They’d shout, "Hey, beanpole!" Although I don't think they meant to be cruel, it was a frequent occurrence that made me self-aware about my appearance. Phrases like, "He's thinner than a rake," echoed in my mind. Eventually, I learned to tune out the comments, but they still stung, especially as a seventeen-year-old boy grappling with his identity. Like many teenagers, I was hyper-aware of my body, battling insecurities from acne and awkward growth spurts, all while being driven by a surge of testosterone.

My favorite pastime was gazing at pictures of Arnold Schwarzenegger. I fantasized about having a physique that would silence the mockery. In my daydreams, I envisioned Arnie's muscular frame combined with my own face (minus the blemishes), basking in the admiration of fans. My imagination often ran wild—sometimes dangerously so.

As a teenager, I spent countless hours in front of the mirror, contemplating what could be. At sixteen, my obsession with building muscle led me to start recording my weight weekly. I could eat excessively, but I barely managed to reach over sixty-three kilos. The only impression I could successfully pull off was of Mr. Bean, not Arnie.

Yet, despite my challenges, I was determined. I took on a weekend job to fund my supplement obsession, desperate to bulk up and emulate Arnie. Unfortunately, these products had little effect, and I even lost weight while using one. My gym memberships felt futile as my muscles seemed content with their current state. Working out alongside others who effortlessly achieved their fitness goals only amplified my frustration.

When I turned thirty, I found myself at a pivotal moment. I still clung to my dream of becoming toned like Arnold. Letting go of that ambition felt like a betrayal to my idol. My friends offered advice, but their suggestions often seemed absurd. Just when I thought all hope was lost, my partner bluntly said, "You could quit smoking."

This was a wake-up call. He was direct: "If you don't kick that habit, I’m out." For someone typically gentle, he delivered this ultimatum with surprising intensity. Until then, I had tried giving up smoking over twenty times, all without success. I had tested gums, willpower, and even hypnotherapy, but nothing worked.

It’s remarkable what the right motivation can do. That stark statement was the catalyst I needed. In other relationships, the response might have been, "I'll help you pack."

The connection between my smoking and weight issues became apparent. The week I quit smoking, my metabolism kicked into high gear, and I realized my days of resembling Mr. Bean were behind me—Mr. Blobby had taken his place.

If you were to chart my recorded weights, you'd see a steady climb. Where I once sought to gain weight, I now found myself in a battle to lose it. Perhaps I'm exaggerating a bit, but the point stands. I wouldn’t mind a little extra weight, but my body had other plans. Instead of the defined muscles I desired, I ended up with a belly and backside.

We often envision the ideal body, but reality can be quite different. For many, the thought of hitting the gym six days a week is just a fantasy. Life has its demands: work, family, meals, and chores. Free time feels like a luxury reserved for others.

We’re stuck with the bodies nature has given us, and they don’t always match our expectations. While searching online, I found countless products that promised solutions. Maybe meal replacement shakes would help, but the thought of cold shakes in winter was unappealing. Still, I decided to give it a shot. What did I have to lose?

The first two days went by as I consumed my "delicious" shake while flipping through the product manual. Why did everyone in the photos look so happy? After a month of this regimen, it was time for the moment of truth. In the privacy of my bathroom, I stripped down and examined the reflection. I could see a slight change, but I had to suck in my breath to notice it.

With a mix of excitement and trepidation, I stepped onto the scales. I closed my eyes, bracing for the readout. There had to be a mistake—the scales couldn’t be accurate.

Having dealt with ongoing constipation since starting the diet, I used laxatives to alleviate that issue. After stepping off and resetting the scales, I returned, waiting for the number to appear. "No way! I’ve gained half a kilo? After a month of deprivation and struggle?"

After a lifetime of battling my weight, I was ready to give up. Perhaps I should have lowered my expectations. It seems I was always destined to be who I am now, and maybe I'd have been happier with more realistic goals.

Embracing this new mindset has its perks. I can toss the scales aside and burn my weekly records. I can enjoy cruises and load my plate without guilt. No more denying myself ice cream.

Life can be pretty enjoyable when I accept that I’ll never resemble Arnold Schwarzenegger.

In this inspiring masterclass, Arnold Schwarzenegger shares why he believes enduring challenges is essential for growth and self-improvement.

In this insightful video, we explore the pitfalls of trying to replicate Arnold's intense training regimen and discuss a more balanced approach to fitness.