Malfunction in Communication

Reflect on your last intense disagreement. How might you have approached it differently? Here are some key points to consider that could help reduce conflict and maintain a loving atmosphere.

Mind Your Tone

Consider the impact of your tone. How often have you had to clarify your message simply because of how you expressed it? While we share a common language, the delivery can significantly alter the message's reception. If you heard your words from another's perspective, would you find them offensive? When my husband points out that I sounded sharp, my instinct is often to get defensive.

Image by Jeswin Thomas from Pexels

Before I can respond, he’ll suggest, “How about we grab some Taco Bell?”

Mini Lesson: “Feed me tacos and tell me I’m pretty.” Food truly has the power to shift one's mood.

Clarify the Message

After a back-and-forth of bickering, one of us might finally pause and say, “What did you mean by that?” This leads to either a shared understanding or a peaceful disagreement, allowing us to wrap up the discussion. (Thank goodness! Can we please finish watching the last 20 minutes of The Ozarks now?)

Avoid Absolute Terms

Using words like “never” and “always” can turn arguments into endless cycles. These absolutes reduce complex experiences to simplistic categories, creating incomplete truths. Phrases like “You never hug me!” or “You always leave without a kiss” often arise from unmet needs.

To address these issues, it's essential to listen actively and dig a little deeper into what your partner is expressing. Here’s a quick reminder of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs:

• Self-actualization: The desire to realize one’s full potential.
• Esteem: Respect, recognition, status, and freedom.
• Love and belonging: Intimacy, family, and connection.
• Safety needs: Personal security, health, and resources.
• Physiological needs: Basics like food, water, and shelter.

Avoid Bringing Up Past Issues

Referencing past grievances indicates unresolved feelings. I call this “mud-slinging.” For instance, saying, “If you bring this up, I’ll remind you of what you did,” is counterproductive. Such tactics prevent healing and can leave a couple trapped in a cycle of negativity.

Present Solutions

As Vanilla Ice famously said, “If there’s a problem, yo, I’ll solve it…” Often, solutions surface after the heat of a discussion has faded. If issues linger, they may resurface in future arguments. Apologizing and forgiving should be mutual for effective resolution.

Reflect on Your Relationship's Beginnings

Think back to what initially attracted you to your partner. Was it a smile, a shared glance, or a tender touch?

Mini Lesson: Embrace those feelings—cherish them and hold onto that love.

Conclusion

Throughout the years, my husband and I have learned to shift from being an avalanche of conflict to a more manageable snowball of understanding. While we can't change the past, we certainly can influence our future interactions.

How have you and your partner evolved to minimize “discussions”? I’m eager to hear your insights.

Thank you for engaging with this article. I hope you found some valuable takeaways. Please follow along as I share more lessons learned from my journey through life. We are more interconnected than we often realize!

I’m Desiree, and I strive to live by the principles I share. It's wonderful to connect with you.

Date Night Ideas on a Budget

Netflix and chill—an overused phrase? Perhaps. But is it budget-friendly? Absolutely! And it applies just as well to Hulu.

The first video, "Riley Clemmons - Fighting For Me (Lyric Video)," explores themes of self-empowerment and resilience in relationships, showcasing how love can triumph over challenges.

The second video, "LOVE EXPERT ON: When A Man TRULY LOVES You, He Will DO THIS! | Stephan Speaks & Jay Shetty," provides insights into the signs of true love and how partners can support each other in meaningful ways.