Understanding the Disconnect

In the world of coaching, you might feel equipped with every tool necessary to guide your team to success. You've absorbed the literature, participated in workshops, and listened to countless motivational talks. However, it's not uncommon to encounter individuals who seem utterly disengaged.

During my tenure at the BBC and several commercial radio stations, I was frequently asked to mentor underperforming staff to help them regain their focus. To be candid, poor management was often the root of the issue. However, I quickly recognized a more pressing challenge: many coaching sessions felt like conversing with a wall.

Imagine preparing an elaborate meal only to discover your guests only want plain toast. It's disheartening, isn't it? Coaching should be a collaborative effort, but it loses its value if only one party is actively involved.

Signs of Disengagement

How can you identify if the individual you're coaching has mentally disengaged?

#### 1. The Zombie Nod

I first encountered the phenomenon I call the "Zombie Nod" while coaching Kevin, a radio host. I was sharing a straightforward method for reviewing a radio show, which involves noting three positive aspects and one area for improvement.

As I spoke, I noticed Kevin's slow nodding. Initially, I thought he was following along, but his glazed eyes told a different story. His mind had clearly drifted to a far-off place, perhaps a bar in Tenerife, while his body remained present. This indicates that while your coachee may be physically in the room, their mind is elsewhere.

#### 2. The Great Escape

We've all seen it when boredom strikes. Suddenly, the individual becomes overly interested in their surroundings or even their belongings. Take Jenna, for example—a talented radio salesperson who struggled to articulate the benefits of radio.

During one coaching session, she inexplicably became fascinated with picking lint off her sweater whenever we hit a challenging topic. It was her way of dodging difficult questions, showcasing her desire to escape the conversation and retreat to a less uncomfortable mental space.

#### 3. The Echo Chamber

This may sound like agreement, but it's often just an illusion. I once coached a journalist named Ahmed, who had a peculiar habit of echoing my last few words with a questioning inflection. It felt as though his mind had taken a break, leaving behind only a hollow repetition of my thoughts. Although he appeared attentive, his focus had shifted elsewhere, perhaps to more engaging topics like organizing his sock drawer.

Taking Action

As a leader, it's your responsibility to confront these issues and help your team members re-engage. Pose questions, initiate discussions, or modify your coaching approach. Sometimes, a simple inquiry such as "What do you think?" can draw them back into the conversation.

Stay vigilant for signs like Zombie Nods, Great Escapes, and Echo Chambers. With creativity and persistence, you can transform unproductive sessions into meaningful exchanges. However, be prepared to wrap things up if necessary.

You’ve Got This!

As a former radio station manager and author of "The Imposter Syndrome" on Audible, I'm here to support you on your coaching journey.

The first video offers insights into recognizing when your partner may not respect you, which can parallel the challenges faced in coaching scenarios.

The second video discusses signs that your relationship may be faltering, shedding light on the importance of awareness in both personal and professional relationships.